The Light That Shines In The Darkness

Five years ago, the holiday season looked very different. In December of 2020, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, school at St. Andrew’s took place in small groups of masked, socially distanced students, and much of the day was spent online. 

At the time, I was the chaplain of Lower and Middle School divisions, and it was deeply important to me that we preserve the elements of community that have long provided meaning and connection, such as daily chapel, service-learning activities, and opportunities to gather for fellowship and fun, even if those things took a slightly different shape. As we approached the holiday season, I was committed to finding ways to engage in our most cherished traditions, knowing that it would require some creativity and imagination. We decided to create a pre-recorded Lessons and Carols service and to share it on a live YouTube feed at a specific time in the evening, so it could be experienced safely but synchronously as a community. 

In the weeks leading up to the service, students from various choirs and music ensembles recorded songs, and representatives from our student, faculty, alumni, trustee, and parent communities recorded readings. Meanwhile, the first grade teachers and I took the class of 2032 out to Shoal Creek to film a video version of our oldest tradition at St. Andrew’s: the Christmas Pageant. A few days before the big virtual screening, we sent each student home with a goodie bag that included a candle, a cookie, hot cocoa mix, and a program so that each family could create a sacred time and space to enjoy the service together. 

On the evening of December 17th, my family and I gathered in the McGill Chapel on the 31st Street Campus, along with about a dozen other faculty members, to watch Lessons and Carols. Masked and six feet apart from one another, we gazed up at the screen with wonder and joy to, as the Bidding Prayer called us, hear again the “message of the angels,” and to remember the story of Christ’s birth through Scripture and song. 

The service began with a welcome, filmed from my living room sofa, with our family Christmas tree shining in the background. “Welcome to our 2020 Service of Lessons and Carols. This is one of my favorite St. Andrew’s traditions, and even though we aren’t gathered together in the gym this year, I hope you feel a sense of connection and togetherness, knowing that we are gathered together in spirit.” 

We heard the Select Choir sing “Carol of the Bells,” the Lord’s Prayer read in English, Latin, Mandarin, and Spanish, a beatbox-backed version of “O Come All Ye Faithful” from the combined Upper School Choirs, and carols performed by our orchestras, bands, and percussion ensembles. We watched as hundreds of tiny faces in tiny squares came together to sing and play “Angels We Have Heard On High,” “All On A Silent Night,” and, of course, “Mary Had a Baby.” 

Then, following a Christmas blessing from Mother Whitney, we dimmed the lights in the chapel, lit our candles, and sung along with tiny video circles of candlelit fifth-graders to “Silent Night.” As I looked around the room, I realized that many of us were weeping. There was so much grief wrapped up in that strange, surreal moment in the darkness, our real, weary faces illuminated by the virtual faces of our beloved students, singing to us a song of peace from a different time and place. 

But it was also a moment of hope, knowing that nothing — not even a global pandemic — would stop Christmas from coming. As we had just been reminded by the Gospel of John, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

While I undoubtedly prefer experiencing Lessons and Carols in person, that memory has become, to me, an important reminder of the power that traditions have in our community, the power to connect us to one another and to something bigger than ourselves. Particularly during the holiday season, things like our First Grade Christmas Pageant, Las Posadas, Advent Evensong, and Lessons and Carols anchor us, year after year, in the values that define and unite us: community, caring, celebration, growth, and a strong spiritual foundation. 

As St. Andrew’s, and the world that surrounds it, continues to change, grow, and withstand the tests of time, our traditions are like threads that gently string us together and hold us close to the things that matter most. The 2020 holiday season, for all of its challenges, gave me a renewed appreciation for those threads.

During the dark, cold months of winter, as we celebrate light in many forms — Christmas trees and advent candles, menorahs and chanukias, diyas and fireworks — may we never forget that love is a light that shines in the darkness, and that darkness cannot overcome it.